


a moment to breathe

by Miaou Jones (miaoujones)



Category: Free!
Genre: Comfort, Conversations, First Kiss, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 04:07:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2215188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miaoujones/pseuds/Miaou%20Jones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the first day of competition at regionals and all that came with it, Rin goes to Makoto to finish their conversation from the night before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a moment to breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Mild alternate timeline fueled by some wishful thinking for a post-S02E09 scene. For all the makorins, and also for everyone in need of respite and a glimmer of hope right now...

That evening, he goes back to Haru and Makoto's room.

"Rin!" Makoto isn't smiling when he opens the door, although there's no darkness in his expression. Too late, Rin realizes he should have said something when Makoto greeted him; he only thinks of it when Makoto's eyebrows knit like he's going to apologize. Sure enough: "I'm sorry, Haru isn't here—"

"I didn't come to see Haru. I came to see you."

Now Makoto's brows arch up. "You did?"

Rin nods. "To finish our conversation." Makoto looks blank so he adds, "From last night."

"Oh!" Makoto's face relaxes into a grin that smooths out as he says, "I thought we had finished that."

"No." Rin shifts his weight, putting his hands in his pockets just to have something to do with them. "I asked you what you're thinking for the future and you didn't say anything at first. Then just as you started to talk, Nagisa and Rei came barging in." _And I left_ , he thinks but doesn't say; Makoto knows as well as he does what Rin did.

This time Makoto's "oh" is less cheerful and maybe more honest. He rubs the back of his neck as he steps aside to let Rin in.

Rin glances around the room; Haru really isn't here. Not that he thought Makoto was lying or, for that matter, that he would have let Rin in so easily just now if Haru _was_ here…

When he looks back, Makoto is sitting on the end of the bed Rin assumes is his, the same one he'd sat on the night before. The stool is still by the desk but Rin doesn't really feel like sitting on a stool right now, and he doesn't think he can sit on Haru's bed—so, with a breath he hopes isn't audible, he sits on Makoto's. Not right next to him but close enough to reach out and touch.

He doesn't do that, though. When he moves, it's only to prop his chin on his hands. He can feel Makoto's gaze but he doesn't look back and he doesn't say anything. He just sits there.

Makoto sits there, too. He doesn't move to the stool or the other bed, he doesn't slide towards his edge or push Rin towards the other. He doesn't laugh or say anything about Rin sitting on his bed; he doesn't say anything at all. He just sits there and Rin thinks maybe this is the best he can hope for right now.

Then Makoto says his name. Rin straightens and turns to him. The smile Makoto offers is hard to read, not because it's insincere but because it's too sincere, maybe. Too full of _something_ , anyhow. "It's all right, Rin." Before Rin can voice his doubts about that, Makoto goes on, "It's all right if you want to sit here awhile. We don't have to talk if you don't want to."

The point of coming here was to talk but somehow Rin fails to say so in the pause before Makoto adds, "It's been a long day for everyone. Especially for you, between Haru and Sousuke—"

"What about Sousuke?" Rin's gaze snaps to Makoto's.

Makoto's eyes widen slightly; he tries to smile. "Ah, no. Nothing." What he had managed of a smile slips away as they look at each other.

To Makoto's credit, he doesn't break the gaze. Not even when he says, shoulders slumping, "I'm sorry, Rin. I wasn't thinking…"

Rin is the one to look away. "It's fine." It's not, of course. But nothing is anymore, so. He takes a deep breath, lets it out as he straightens himself up again, reaches across his chest to rub his thumb along his shoulder before letting the hand drop to his lap. It's not like he hasn't started to suspect... "I'll do something to get him to talk to me tomorrow."

"Good." There's a quiet intensity to Makoto's voice that makes Rin look at him. Makoto stays focused on the middle distance. "And I'll do something to get Haru to talk to, us—to all of us."

"No," Rin says. He wasn't aware of moving but now his hand is on Makoto's shoulder, different from the way he's just touched his own; this time his fingers are digging in. Even though this is Makoto, not Sousuke, he loosens his grip; and because this is not Sousuke but Makoto, he latches on again, pulling the shirt away from Makoto's back as his fingers curl into the material. "Get him to talk to _you_ , Makoto. That's what—he can talk to me and everyone else when he's ready."

"All right, Rin."

They sit wordlessly, lost in their own thoughts, connected where Rin is still holding onto Makoto's shirt.

The fabric shifts against his fingers as Makoto moves and he lets go, wondering what he was thinking to keep holding on like that; he can't even say he didn't know he was doing it. "Hey, Makoto—" he says, and that's as far as he gets before he feels Makoto's arm go across his shoulders and tug him in closer.

He looks up at Makoto and sees a smile. Maybe it's the closeness or his angle of sight but for some reason, he's having a hard time making out Makoto's expression, even with the smile; because of the smile. Makoto was kind of like this when they were kids, too—he's always had an easy smile that's difficult to actually read. Rin furrows his brow. Makoto almost certainly won't say what he's thinking but at least Rin can ask this: "What are you doing?"

Makoto's brows arch. "I'm hugging you—trying to, anyhow." His grin gets somehow wider and shyer at the same time.

"Well, you have to—" Rin breaks off as he shifts around, trying to get his arms in position without dislodging Makoto's. "You have to do it so I can hug back."

"Is that what we're doing now?" The unmistakable amusement in Makoto's voice makes Rin smile.

"Wait, hang on." Rin tries shifting around more but he can't get close enough to give Makoto the hug he really wants him to have; the only way the can think to get close enough, from how they are now, is to slide into Makoto's lap and he can't—he can't do that—

He feels himself falling. Going over sideways and backwards with Makoto, until they're lying down. "Okay?" Makoto is smiling again and Rin can almost read this one…

"Um," he hears himself say.

"Yeah, you're right." Another grin and Makoto is shifting again, pushing himself farther up the bed until his feet are off the floor, his head on a pillow. He opens up space between his arm and his body and Rin crawls into it, meaning to put his head on Makoto's shoulder, landing on his chest instead. He feels Makoto's arm come around him again, hand resting in the small of his back; he settles his own lightly on Makoto's hip. Makoto's voice is soft and clear as he says, "Better?"

Rin nods. Breathes. "I can hear your heartbeat like this." It's steady, so much steadier than Rin's own heart feels right now. Then Makoto's hand starts to soothe along his spine and Rin closes his eyes, matching his breathing to those calming strokes.

 

He's disoriented when he opens his eyes again; he must have fallen asleep. The light is dimmer, only the one by Makoto's bed turned on anymore. Makoto is still there with him and, a glance shows, Haru is now asleep in the other bed.

Makoto is awake, though. Rin sits up. "Sorry." He blinks hard, rubs his eyes.

"It's okay," Makoto says, and Rin almost thinks that maybe it kind of is—or really that it can be, somehow.

He checks the clock and finds it's earlier than he thought, a quarter past midnight. He can still get some decent rest before the second day of the tournament. He'd love to do it here, but… "I'll be going, then," he says.

"All right."

Makoto gets up when Rin does and Rin doesn't tell him he doesn't have to because he knows Makoto knows that; and also Rin doesn't mind Makoto walking him to the door.

In the doorway, Rin turns to him. "Thanks for… thanks, Makoto."

"Any time, Rin." Makoto smiles and Rin knows he really means it. It makes him smile, too.

Rin nods and starts to go—and then, before he can let himself think about it, turns again and takes the step back. "Makoto."

Brows arched, Makoto opens his mouth to respond, and Rin leans up and kisses him.

It's quick, soft, open-mouthed; Makoto's lips stay parted, dovetail with his, a sweet flash of tongue before the kiss breaks.

They look at each other.

Makoto smiles, as soft and open as the kiss they just shared. "We should talk tomorrow, Rin."

He's still smiling. Rin is too as he nods. "Tomorrow, then."

He walks back to the room he shares with Sousuke, thinking of all the conversations he needs to have tomorrow, and all the swimming he has to do before that, and how some things are not all right—but some things are.

Yeah, some things are.


End file.
